If I Could Change The World

If I could change the world, my sweets

I’d take it slowly, no radical feats

I wouldn’t do much, no, not for days

I’d simply stop, admire and gaze

Then start real small, not so big and bright

Not blotting nature’s exquisitely sight

Uphills would be made to go on down

Stop us sweating, straining and frown

The rain I’d take in my caring wing

Have it fall sweetly on everything

And the sun would shine, not burn to death

We’d be taking easy, sweetly, heavenly breath

The politicians, squabbling children all

Have them answer a celestial call

Let them play their games of division and vice

On an island safe, while they can’t be nice

Far away from harm – Pluto, Centaurus or Mars

Let them bicker and preen among bigger stars

Then we’d stop, admire and gaze

Thinking how peaceful we could live our days

We’d look in the eye, every single folk

And know we’re brilliant, aware and woke

Then open our mouths and sing one sweet tongue

The language of love, we’d have it sung

Then we’d know peace, serenity and play

Release our diseases and stressed-out way

But wait … we’d get bored with all that

Wake up each morning, happy and flat

Don’t we love drama, irk and shame

Couldn’t let it go – not have that joyful same

We’d have to find fault, judge and moan

For our differences do we shine and hone

It’s mine, not yours. I’m better than you

Comparing the outer, fighting on cue

My god’s fatter, faster, cleverer than yours

Giving licence to kill and hide behind doors

We couldn’t help it, we couldn’t you know

A minute of peace then guns are raised to blow

We talk of peace and sell it for coin

Setting apart when we’d much rather join

So, if I could change the world, my sweets

I’d take it slowly, no radical feats

I wouldn’t do much for months and days

I’d simply stop, admire and gaze

And bless the whole blooming lot, politicians and all

Knowing my peace ain’t there but here – I’m free to install

Can We Talk of Suicide?

I spent an hour this morning, with a friend, counselling her about suicide … that spawned this poem at lunch at my office … yet another cafe.

Can we talk of suicide, my friend
The way we talk of pets, kids and homes
How we disagree on politics, food and styles
And we’re still … like, friends

Can I tell you I’ve wanted an end
To the pain, confusion and futility
I may not do the deed – who knows
But I need to speak my thoughts. Release

People, you see, choose how they die
Drinking their time into the grave
We call them stupid, shake our heads
Then give them AA and friends for listening

Some abuse their bodies with food
With toxic drugs and crazy, risky stuff
We think their lives are a’wasted
But they’re off to heaven and never to hell

But who do I talk to, to ease the grip
A pain you can’t see now, or conceive
The black dog that barks, day and bloody night
While I cease to know I’m anything that’s right

I always knew I’d live a life too short
And dying early is sad and sometimes mad
But thinking it … that’s very, very bad
No heavenly home, the devil’s chains entwined

See, talking of rain or shine
Don’t make one less, the other more
Talking of money, houses or love
Don’t make them grow, from words in our mouth

So, talking suicide, to you, my friend
Won’t make it happen or not
Not down to you if I do or don’t
Release that thought. Release me too

There’s a chance, of course, dear friend
In a world that has forbidden close care
Your open ear and kindly heart
Your just-being-there with judgement-free

There’s a chance your accepting, bigotless smile
Could unlock a plug, release the black fog
Allow in clarity, acceptance and ease
Then I’ll live, you see, a whole lot more

I Am Careful About What I Say

I am careful about what I say

How I dress, who I agree to

It’s a practised art, this NIP, NOP and NUP

From master teachers I’m gratefully sad

Unaware of their teaching skills, they worked for free

Tirelessly, relentlessly, they instructed me well

Teachers without classroom, some without names

They volunteered to help me, shut me down

Across the flashing TV screen I can’t avoid

Is murder, rape, pillage, mayhem and all

Then toothpaste ads, kiddies songs and rhymes

Theft, jokes, war and fashion shows

They mix ‘em up, all the good, bad and ugly

A tossed salad of dangerous, dopey and dramatic

The flaccid, false, fatuous and factual

One big chattering plate, my nightly dinner

But none of those things, not a single one

Touches my heart, fires my brain

Not one gets me reacting the way I do

When there’s a snowflake[1] at my post

Like I said, I’m ever so careful

In what I say and do … or even think

My Facebook posts I craft with careful skill

With care, fear and hope, I breathlessly write

You may rob, lie and kill, you may

And I’ll tut tut and go on by

But you slag my post, thumb me down and growl

I’ll be all shook down, weeks in bed, recluse

These wise teachers, free and generous all

Are the critical, offended, complaining ones

Each look of despair, finger-pointing frown

Is a nail in the coffin of the bounce I once had

There was a bounce, I promise, long, long ago

I had no cares, just love and spirits to share

Then the hammer-headed teachers came, oh dear

And knocked each smile, plan, creation for six

With heart in throat I avoid the NIP, NOP, NUP

Not Inflaming People

Not Offending People

Not Upsetting People

It’s a careful, fearful path I tread

Broken glass and shattered dream with every step

I shudder, walk on and torture myself to look

At what they said at those manicured words of mine

But I want … I really, really want

To revive my sleeping giant, awake and fuming

Have my soul bursting with fire and wind

Tell my most honest, scathing, sincere Truth

But I can’t. I really, really can’t

There’s too many nails and I can’t get out

So I agree and agree and agree

And I’m ever so careful with what I say

[1] A snowflake is someone who is constantly and easily offended

A Wind-Tossed Leaf

This eerie feeling of not needing to do anything as I realise the world’s okay. I don’t need to fix anything. So this poem turned up today.

I am a wind-tossed leaf
Green, not brown, just released to fly
Now gone from branch, flying without roots
No purpose but to flutter, dry and die

A man of projects, missions and targets
So much did the world need changing, cleansing and mirth
So much was misery and abuse to the fore
And t’was my mission, reason for my birth

Terrified, I cringed and begged for work
At fourteen I was sent out to survive, alone
Bloody, blistered hands, legs tired and scratched
And a mind fearing reproach, failure and disown

Quiet, obedient, agreeable and nice
A volcano, an anger, tied down with hope
A fury faint cooled, erupting inside
While I trod nicely, pretending to cope

But some knew my volcanic tongue
Wife, children and others I met
A lie to myself, I lied to the world
And twisted my soul, shapeshifting a threat

So I set to heal the world, distracting my pain
Looked out to the troubled world out there
A crooked horizon I tried to smooth
Not seeing myself, cowering in fear

But the inner must emerge, to be seen and shone
The more I repaired the outer, louder my soul cried, “Treason!”
Till I had nought to give, uplift and save
Then sank without answers, core or reason

The leaf must leave its roots, its stable trunk some time
To lose all it gained, in peaceful emptiness proclaim
Let it give up direction, fixing and giving
Become purposeless, forgotten, without aim

Maybe this, my fettered friend, is why you’re trapped
You fear the freedom where there’s nothing but void
We trap our lives in duty, tasks and impressing
Then complain our prison, but at others we’re annoyed

When we leave the tree, un-free friend
We lose everything – routine, purpose and renown
This freedom, you see, is a two-sided sabre
Unwilling to forgo everything we’ve amassed and own

It’s a wrench, this world-rejecting venture
For brave, naïve fools, hanging from trees
We could drop and break our heads
Then be forgotten, shuttered from memories

Or we can fly, free in the storm, the breeze
Float and fall, float and fall, no matter the height
The world’s not wrong, no need to fix
And I’m free, unwanted, unneeded and peacefully light